I have always been an empathetic person and I still am. It is my nature. Before my healing, most of the time I was misusing my body in order to be helpful to others. Sometimes people did not even appreciate it because I guess they did not really need my help. My body was always in pain because it wanted my attention but I did not have time for it. I was giving all my time and my energy to others who I believed needed my care more than myself. I believed that I was blessed with the opportunity to help everyone. This was a wrong belief. As a result, pain took over my life and it has ruled my body ever since I was a child. Pain was such a central part of my life that the few times my body was not in pain, I realized that I missed it. I did not know how to live without pain. I was almost addicted to it.
Anita Moorjani, a noted NewYork Times bestselling author, explains how empathetic people are like me. She says that people who are super sensitive feel others emotions. But empaths take inside the emotions of others.
Empaths are usually have hard time to take care of themselves because almost all of their energy is given away in order not to break other people’s hearts. When I had a choice between breaking my own heart or someone else’s, I chose to break my own. When I realized that I could not solve all the problems of the world, I started to heal. My first responsibility was to myself. To make everyone happy, I had to make myself happy first.
Now I am still a helpful, kind, and gracious person. I have more energy and time because I do not have doctor appointments, scheduled operations, or useless time spent diagnosing the cause of my pain. I can spend all my time learning, growing and improving. And I can try to make those around me happier. I became a healthy and a happier person because I learned how to love myself, and how to live my life to the fullest. I also stopped judging myself. I learned that accepting myself as I am is proof of self-love.
The radical change I made made it all worth it.
Photography by Nilgün Yağlı / İstanbul